The 6 People Who Enter Into Marriage Series: Part 3 – Who You Actually Are

Who You Actually Are

The third set people are who you actually are and who your spouse actually is. Of all the people in the 6 persons who marry, this is the most true reflection of reality.

This last pair of people is to you and your spouse both actually are. This is who you are, free of preconceived ideas, hopeful wishes, good first impressions, etc. This is what Peter spoke of in 1 Peter 3:3 when he talks of the “hidden person of the heart”. Meaning this is who you are on the inside when you are all alone and have no one to impress.

You and your spouse are free of the other two preconceived ideas of who each of you are and who they want to be. God made each of us to be individuals and have our own unique personality with our own experiences and history which helps us to be who we are. With all of our strengths and weaknesses, God created us in his likeness in his image and we are children of God.

Even though we are who we are, that does not stop us from growing to be more like his son Jesus Christ. It would be easy to think that we don’t need to change because I am who I am and my spouse can’t change me. While this is true practically, your spouse can’’t change you themselves, but God can.

God wants every Christ follower to be more like his Son and we should all strive to be more like Him every day. Not just for your religious understanding of about God but every aspect of your life from who you are at work to who you are in your marriage.


You cannot change your spouse in any way, shape, or form.

The only person you can truly change is yourself. The only person that can change your spouse is themselves and the Holy Spirit. Even though you cannot change your spouse yourself, you can petition the Lord for Him to change your spouse to be more like his Son Jesus Christ.

If your spouse is not a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ then your prayer should be for the Lord to help your spouse to repent of their sins believe on Jesus Christ that he will forgive them their sins and that they would have a saving faith in God through Jesus. No one has ever been argued into a belief in God. There’s no persuasive speech or argument you can give that will make them see your point of view. It is only the Holy Spirit that conceives in them a love for God.

God will give abundantly more than you ask for, especially for the soul of your spouse to have a saving faith in his Son.
If your spouse is already a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ then they have the Holy Spirit in them which will help to change them from the inside out.

Once a Holy Spirit comes inside of a person and takes up residence He becomes the strongman (Matthew 12:29) and cannot be bound by anyone or anything.  If the Holy Spirit is inside of your spouse then you have the ability to change your spouse to be more like Jesus Christ through prayer that the Lord will change your spouse.

Ever since my wife and I started dating, she told me that she had a desire to homeschool our children. Being that I was raised in a home that value government school and how homeschool children are potentially pretty weird, I was dead set against it. I told her from the very beginning that we were going to put our children in government school and there was going to be no discussion about it.


Intense Fellowships Over Our Differences Should Lead Us To Prayer

For the first two years of our marriage, we had many “intense fellowships” about the subject of homeschooling versus government schooling. The conversation usually started with my wife asking me why I was so against homeschooling and my replying back to her because homeschool kids are weird. I would then rattle off a list of reasons why I believe would hinder her children and I would stop the conversation dead in its tracks.

Then I realized my wife stopped bringing up the subject of homeschooling. I felt as though I won her over with my persuasive arguments. It turns out though that she realized all the arguments were not working to get me to see things from her point of view. She then decided to pray that the Lord change my heart to be for homeschooling because she believed it was the most godly thing that we can do for children.

About four years later, it was time for me to look into putting our oldest child into school for the first time. My mind started racing with ideas of registration, school outfits, and all the things that go into putting your kids in the school. At the same time, God started working on me in possibly being open to the idea of doing homeschooling instead of government school.

I started seeing all the positives of homeschooling and all the negatives of government school. What it all boiled down to for me were two things that I wanted my children to learn from government school or homeschooling.

1. My children come to a saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ
2. My boys be able to provide for their future family, and my daughters to be able to manage their future household.

On all accounts, I found that homeschooling would be the best way for us to see those outcomes and our children so I decided to proceed with homeschooling.

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 helped me to make the decision. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Through my wife’s prayers, God help me to make a 180° turn to now be fully against government school and fully for homeschooling. I believe in it so much that we will homeschool her children all the way through to high school.  I and my wife believe it’s the godliest thing we can do for children.

Only God can change your spouse. So pray for the change you desire for you spouse and the Lord will either agree and cause the change in them or will disagree and cause the change you.  Above all, pray for both you and your spouse to be more like Jesus Christ as all Christ followers are called to be. If each spouse tries to become more like Jesus, the marriage will get better and better.

The 6 People Who Enter Into Marriage Series: Part 3 – Who You Actually Are